The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3

The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3

Drinking alcohol is causing major issues with some individuals in our communities, the individuals involved think that they are having fun while drinking and have an illusion that they are doing well in life, not realizing that they are ruining their futures and resulting in negative impacts on people around them and their families. Not many people realize the Living Hell that is created when you have an alcoholic in the family, everyone around them has to suffer and endure the alcoholic person and it will negatively impact the future of every single person in the house.

Family members living in the presence of an alcoholic will have broken dreams, broken futures and broken homes, they will never excel academically or in sports or in business or any other venture, because there is the presence of negative energies around the individual involved.

Domestic Violence remains ever present in homes that have an alcoholic present and life becomes a ‘living hell’ for everyone living in the house with the entire family bearing the brunt of domestic violence, something else that is never discussed anywhere is that an, an alcoholic smells bad to a non-driking person, imagine what spouses have to endure when thier husbands have been drinking and they have to smell him lying next to him in bed and then the morning after.

A. Back from the Pits of Addiction – How I reclaimed my life with some help

I am different, I was born over 60 years ago in a small town in India. My father was a senior government official on a transferable job. I lived in reasonably comfortable homes in different cities and towns , with a retinue of servants and other perks.

For as long as I can remember, I felt I was a special person – sort of different to ‘normal’ people in a superior kind of way. I managed to get through school without really working hard, even getting a gold medal in high school.

During teens and later, I always had the best-looking girls in town as girlfriends. The girls liked me, their mothers trusted me – I was that sort of guy!

I even had my share of fame – I was a successful member of the theatre community. I wrote, directed, produced and acted in several plays. All this reinforced my belief that I was different in a unique way – I could get away with anything.

I started occasionally smoking and drinking in school. Still, my real journey in addiction began when I went to Delhi University for graduation in 1973.

At that time, New Delhi and most of north India was part of the worldwide wave of ‘hippies’ – the fag end of ‘make love, not war’ movement. Vietnam war and WOODSTOCK were just over, and the young were seeking some higher meaning. Alcohol and drugs were rampant.

Several ‘godmen’ were propagating their beliefs – BHAGWAN RAJNEESH, Balyagoeshwar, MAHARISHI of BEATLES fame. Even Harvard professors like TIMOTHY LEARY AND RICHARD ALPERT and JOHN C LILY were experimenting and encouraging people to “turn on, tune in, drop out” by popping LSD and. BABA RAMDASS wrote some mind-boggling books based on his experiences with a Himalayan guru and CARLOS CASTANEDA about the teachings of a Mexican shaman. I absorbed this alternative reality that further made me believe I was a person with a “higher” consciousness. The lifestyle entailed a carefree, unstructured attitude spiked with a variety of drugs.

Living a double life

I started living a double life. While maintaining a veneer of social compliance, I was becoming dependent on alcohol and drugs. Of course, I didn’t realize that, believing that such a lifestyle is the “real” way to live a full life.

After graduation, I didn’t pursue further studies and started working in the advertising industry. At that time, it was vastly different. Alcohol was an accepted part of the lifestyle of the advertising world; even smoking weed was okay with the creative units.

I worked in various advertising agencies and drifted in the working world.

I would often resign from a job when I sensed I was going to be fired!

My father, at times, helped me in landing jobs. Yet, I was always resentful of his straight thinking and lifestyle – you know the old-fashioned principles of education, hard work, honesty!

As it was becoming harder to get by with drugs in the workplace and alcohol was more acceptable, my drinking increase in leaps and bounds.

Then came marriage. My wife believed she could reform me with love and care (sounds familiar?). Still, her herculean efforts failed before the all-powerful alcohol. By now, we had a daughter, who was insecure in this world and scared of her father. My wife filed for divorce. At that time, I felt it strange that my parents were supporting my wife and not their son.

I can now understand the long-drawn trauma my parents were going through. In due course, a senior Al-anon member advised the about detachment which entailed withdrawing support.

Recovery

I finally agreed to seek help, not for any recovery (because I didn’t believe I had a problem), but more to manipulate and regain control over my family!

I enrolled in an ONLINE RECOVERY program at HOPE TRUST. My therapist helped me in exploring my irrational thinking patterns and misplaced belief systems. I became open-minded to fresh inputs and experienced personal growth, which had been stunted due to my addictive behaviours.

The therapy team also worked with my wife, daughter and parents. Slowly, hesitatingly, the relationships started to heal. I got re-married to her after a gap of several years, and we had a son who is a gift of sobriety.

Now I realize that I have been ‘different’ and special all my life – I cannot drink like regular folks. Small issues that normal folks can deal with easily are often so difficult for me. My mind is mostly my worst enemy. I have had so many unresolved emotions accumulated over the years, and my attitudes are often unreasonable.

I began the journey of recovery through the 12 Steps of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS with the help of my therapist and sponsor.

“Progress, not perfection” is so apt when I try to define my life in sobriety. Every day, I move ahead toward a more humble, open-minded and tolerant self. I do have setbacks, but the process is slow, but sure. The progress has brought immense joy and rewards – for me, my family and many people who have crossed my path.

For this, I am forever grateful to Hope Trust and Alcoholics Anonymous.

B. ALCOHOLISM: THE MYTH AND THE REALITY

There are so many perspectives and beliefs when it comes to addiction: some true, some false.
Separating myth from reality is not an easy task. Myth is, in fact, a reality for many people; to suggest that another reality exists is to turn their world upside down.

But if the truth about alcoholism is ever to be understood, the myths must be attacked and destroyed. Only facts can destroy myths. And here are the facts:

Myth: Alcohol is predominantly a sedative or depressant drug.

Reality: Alcohol’s pharmacological effects change with the amount drunk. In small quantities, alcohol is a stimulant. In large doses, alcohol acts as a sedative. In all amounts, however, alcohol provides a rich and potent source of calories and energy.

Myth: Alcohol has the same chemical and physiological effect on everyone who drinks.

Reality: Alcohol, like every other food we take into our bodies, affects different people differently.

Myth: Alcohol is an addictive drug, and anyone who drinks long and hard enough will become addicted.

Reality: Alcohol is a selectively addictive drug; it is addictive for only a minority of its users, namely alcoholics. Most people can occasionally drink, daily, even heavily, without becoming addicted to alcohol. Others (alcoholics) will become addicted no matter how much they drink.

Myth: Alcohol is harmful and poisonous to the alcoholic

Reality: Alcohol is a normalizing agent and the best medicine for the pain it creates, giving the alcoholic energy, stimulation, and relief from the pain of withdrawal. Its harmful and poisonous aftereffects are most evident when the alcoholic stops drinking.

Myth: Alcohol addiction is often psychological.

Reality: Alcohol addiction is primarily physiological. Alcoholics become addicted because their bodies are physiologically incapable of processing alcohol normally.

Myth: People become alcoholics because they have psychological or emotional problems, which they try to relieve by drinking (the Devdas syndrome).

Reality: Alcoholics have the same psychological and emotional problems as everyone else before they start drinking. These problems are aggravated, however, by their addiction to alcohol or drugs. Alcoholism undermines and weakens the alcoholic’s ability to cope with the normal problems of living. Furthermore, the alcoholic’s emotions become inflamed both when he drinks excessively and when he stops drinking. Thus, when he is drinking and when he is abstinent, he will feel angry, fearful and depressed in excessive degrees.

Myth: All sorts of social problems – marriage problems, a death in the family, job stress, ‘wrong company’ – may cause alcoholism.

Reality: As with psychological and emotional problems, alcoholics experience all the social pressures everyone else does, but the disease undermines their ability to cope, and the problems get worse. Alcoholics have a genetic and biochemical predisposition and will likely be attracted to such situations and people who also indulge in addictive behaviours.

Myth: When the alcoholic is drinking, he reveals his true personality.

Reality: Alcohol’s effect on the brain causes severe psychological and emotional distortions of the normal personality. Sobriety reveals the alcoholic’s true character.

Myth: The fact that alcoholics often continue to be depressed, anxious, irritable, and unhappy after they stop drinking is evidence that psychological problems cause their disease.

Reality: Alcoholics who continue to be depressed, anxious, irritable and unhappy after they stop drinking suffer from a phenomenon called the “post-acute withdrawal syndrome.” The physical damage caused by years of excessive drinking has not been completely reversed; they are, in fact, still sick and in need of more effective therapy.

Myth: If people could only drink responsibly, they would not become alcoholics.

Reality: Many responsible drinkers become alcoholics. Then, because it is the nature of the disease (not the person), they begin to drink irresponsibly.

Myth: An alcoholic has to want help to be helped.

Reality: Most drinking alcoholics do not want to be helped. They are sick, unable to think rationally, and incapable of giving up alcohol by themselves. Most recovered alcoholics were forced into treatment against their will. Self-motivation usually occurs during treatment, not before.

Myth: Some alcoholics can learn to drink normally and can continue to drink with no ill effects as they limit the amount.

Reality: Alcoholics can never safely return to drinking because drinking in any amount will sooner or later reactivate their addiction.

Myth: Craving for alcohol can be offset by eating high sugar foods.

Reality: Foods with a high sugar content will increase the alcoholic’s depression, irritability, and tension and intensify their desire for a drink to relieve these symptoms.

Myth: if alcoholics eat three balanced meals a day, their nutritional problems will eventually correct themselves.

Reality: Alcoholics’ nutritional needs are only partially met by a balanced diet. They also need vitamin and mineral supplements to correct any deficiencies and to maintain healthy balances.

Myth: Tranquilizers and sedatives are sometimes helpful in treating alcoholics.

Reality: Tranquilizers and sedatives are useful only during the acute withdrawal period. Beyond that, these substitute drugs are destructive and, in many cases, deadly for alcoholics. Many alcoholics start to mix these with alcohol or switch to these drugs as a substitution addiction.

Download full text in multiple languages:
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – English
pdf આલ્કોહોલિઝમની દુષ્ટતા – ભાગ 3 – Gujarati
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Hindi
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Punjabi
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Tamil
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Telugu
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Bengali


Video Clips on Alcoholism

Alcoholic de-addiction, an alternative approach | Dr Abhijit Nadkarni | TEDxPanaji

Decoding Alcoholism (Hindi)

Alcohol Has Overtaken Kerala, India

Alcoholism is a Disease: Dia Mirza at TED

Shocking News about Alcoholism in India

Alcoholics Anonymous Speaker – India

આલ્કોહોલિઝમની દુષ્ટતા – ભાગ 3

દારૂ પીવાથી આપણા સમુદાયોમાં કેટલીક વ્યક્તિઓ સાથે મુખ્ય સમસ્યાઓ ભી થાય છે, સામેલ વ્યક્તિઓ વિચારે છે કે તેઓ પીતી વખતે મજા કરી રહ્યા છે અને તેમને ભ્રમ છે કે તેઓ જીવનમાં સારું કરી રહ્યા છે, તેમને ખ્યાલ નથી કે તેઓ તેમનું બરબાદ કરી રહ્યા છે ભાવિ અને પરિણામે તેમની આસપાસના લોકો અને તેમના પરિવારો પર નકારાત્મક અસર થાય છે. જ્યારે તમે પરિવારમાં આલ્કોહોલિક હોવ ત્યારે સર્જાતા જીવંત નરકને ઘણા લોકોને ખ્યાલ હોતો નથી, આજુબાજુના દરેકને આલ્કોહોલિક વ્યક્તિને ભોગવવું પડે છે અને સહન કરવું પડે છે અને તે ઘરના દરેક વ્યક્તિના ભવિષ્ય પર નકારાત્મક અસર કરશે.

આલ્કોહોલિકની હાજરીમાં રહેતા પરિવારના સભ્યોને તૂટેલા સપના, તૂટેલા વાયદા અને તૂટેલા ઘરો હશે, તેઓ ક્યારેય શૈક્ષણિક રીતે અથવા રમતગમતમાં અથવા વ્યવસાયમાં અથવા અન્ય કોઈ સાહસમાં શ્રેષ્ઠ બનશે નહીં, કારણ કે તેમાં સામેલ વ્યક્તિની આસપાસ નકારાત્મક giesર્જાની હાજરી છે.

ઘરેલું હિંસા હંમેશા એવા ઘરમાં હાજર રહે છે કે જ્યાં આલ્કોહોલિક હાજર હોય અને ઘરમાં રહેતા દરેક વ્યક્તિ માટે જીવન એક ‘જીવતા નરક’ બની જાય છે અને સમગ્ર પરિવાર સાથે ઘરેલુ હિંસાનો ભોગ બનવું પડે છે. દારૂ ન પીનાર વ્યક્તિને ખરાબ સુગંધ આવે છે, કલ્પના કરો કે જ્યારે તેમના પતિ પીતા હોય ત્યારે પતિ-પત્નીએ શું સહન કરવું પડે અને તેમને આખી રાત પથારીમાં અને પછી સવારે તેની બાજુમાં પડેલા ગંધ આવે.

A. વ્યસન ના ખાડાઓ થી પાછા – કેવી રીતે હું મારી મદદ થોડી મદદ સાથે પુનlaપ્રાપ્ત

હું અલગ છું, હું 60 વર્ષ પહેલા ભારતમાં એક નાના શહેરમાં થયો હતો. મારા પિતા સ્થાનાંતરિત નોકરી પર વરિષ્ઠ સરકારી અધિકારી હતા. હું વિવિધ શહેરો અને નગરોમાં વ્યાજબી આરામદાયક ઘરોમાં રહેતો હતો, જેમાં સેવકો અને અન્ય લાભો હતા.

જ્યાં સુધી હું યાદ રાખી શકું ત્યાં સુધી, મને લાગ્યું કે હું એક ખાસ વ્યક્તિ છું – ‘સામાન્ય’ લોકોથી અલગ પ્રકારની શ્રેષ્ઠ રીતે. હું ખરેખર સખત મહેનત કર્યા વિના શાળામાંથી પસાર થવામાં સફળ રહ્યો, હાઇ સ્કૂલમાં ગોલ્ડ મેડલ પણ મેળવ્યો.

કિશોરાવસ્થામાં અને પછીથી, મારી પાસે હંમેશા ગર્લફ્રેન્ડ તરીકે શહેરમાં શ્રેષ્ઠ દેખાતી છોકરીઓ હતી. છોકરીઓ મને ગમી, તેમની માતાએ મારા પર વિશ્વાસ કર્યો – હું તે પ્રકારનો વ્યક્તિ હતો!

મારી ખ્યાતિનો મારો હિસ્સો પણ હતો – હું થિયેટર સમુદાયનો સફળ સભ્ય હતો. મેં અનેક નાટકો લખ્યા, નિર્દેશિત કર્યા, નિર્માણ કર્યા અને અભિનય કર્યો. આ બધાએ મારી માન્યતાને મજબૂત બનાવી કે હું એક અનોખી રીતે અલગ છું – હું કંઈપણથી દૂર થઈ શકું છું.

મેં શાળામાં પ્રસંગોપાત ધૂમ્રપાન અને પીવાનું શરૂ કર્યું. તેમ છતાં, વ્યસનમાં મારી વાસ્તવિક સફર શરૂ થઈ જ્યારે હું 1973 માં ગ્રેજ્યુએશન માટે દિલ્હી યુનિવર્સિટીમાં ગયો.

તે સમયે, નવી દિલ્હી અને ઉત્તર ભારતનો મોટાભાગનો હિપ્પીઝની વિશ્વવ્યાપી લહેરનો ભાગ હતો – પ્રેમ કરો, નહીં યુદ્ધ ચળવળ. વિયેતનામ યુદ્ધ અને વુડસ્ટોક હમણાં જ પૂરું થયું હતું, અને યુવાન કેટલાક ઉચ્ચ અર્થ શોધતા હતા. આલ્કોહોલ અને ડ્રગ્સ બેફામ હતા.

કેટલાક ‘ગોડમેન’ તેમની માન્યતાઓનો પ્રચાર કરી રહ્યા હતા – ભગવાન રજનીશ, બાલ્યાગોશ્વર, બીટલ્સ ખ્યાતિના મહારાશી. TIMOTHY LEARY AND RICHARD ALPERT અને JOHN C LILY જેવા હાર્વર્ડના પ્રોફેસરો પણ LSD પ popપ કરીને લોકોને “ચાલુ, ટ્યુન ઇન, ડ્રોપ આઉટ” માટે પ્રયોગ અને પ્રોત્સાહિત કરી રહ્યા હતા. BABA RAMDASS એ હિમાલયના ગુરુ અને કાર્લોસ કેસ્ટાનેડા સાથેના તેમના અનુભવોના આધારે મેક્સિકન શામનના ઉપદેશો વિશે કેટલાક ચોંકાવનારા પુસ્તકો લખ્યા. મેં આ વૈકલ્પિક વાસ્તવિકતાને આત્મસાત કરી જેનાથી મને વધુ વિશ્વાસ થયો કે હું “ઉચ્ચ” સભાનતા ધરાવનાર વ્યક્તિ છું. જીવનશૈલીમાં વિવિધ પ્રકારની દવાઓ સાથે નચિંત, અસંરચિત વલણ શામેલ છે.

ડબલ લાઈફ જીવીડબલ લાઈફ જીવવાનું

મેંશરૂ કર્યું. સામાજિક અનુપાલનનો ઉપાશ્રય જાળવતી વખતે, હું દારૂ અને ડ્રગ્સ પર નિર્ભર બની રહ્યો હતો. અલબત્ત, મને ખ્યાલ નહોતો કે, એવું માનવું કે આવી જીવનશૈલી સંપૂર્ણ જીવન જીવવાની “વાસ્તવિક” રીત છે.

સ્નાતક થયા પછી, મેં આગળનો અભ્યાસ કર્યો નહીં અને જાહેરાત ઉદ્યોગમાં કામ કરવાનું શરૂ કર્યું. તે સમયે, તે ખૂબ જ અલગ હતું. આલ્કોહોલ જાહેરાત જગતની જીવનશૈલીનો સ્વીકૃત ભાગ હતો; પણ ધૂમ્રપાન નીંદણ સર્જનાત્મક એકમો સાથે ઠીક હતું.

મેં વિવિધ જાહેરાત એજન્સીઓમાં કામ કર્યું અને કામની દુનિયામાં ડૂબી ગયો.

હું ઘણી વાર નોકરીમાંથી રાજીનામું આપતો જ્યારે મને લાગતું કે મને કા firedી મૂકવામાં આવશે!

મારા પિતા, અમુક સમયે, નોકરીમાં ઉતરવામાં મને મદદ કરતા. તેમ છતાં, હું હંમેશા તેની સીધી વિચારસરણી અને જીવનશૈલીથી નારાજ હતો-તમે શિક્ષણ, મહેનત, પ્રામાણિકતાના જૂના જમાનાના સિદ્ધાંતો જાણો છો!

Download full text in multiple languages:
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – English
pdf આલ્કોહોલિઝમની દુષ્ટતા – ભાગ 3 – Gujarati
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Hindi
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Punjabi
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Tamil
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Telugu
pdf The Evils of Alcoholism – Part 3 – Bengali